I was just thinking about how we all react differently to the words, "YOU HAVE CANCER." (Or she/he has cancer) Although I do NOT like hearing about cancer statistics, I do think that educating yourself about the cancer that has invaded your body (or the body of someone you love) is important. I am glad this world takes many type's of people. Knowledge really can be power, but it can also be scary as heck. In the beginning we researched nothing. We stayed away from 'google' for sure! I have searched a few things, as well as Rich. We mainly trusted his doctors and followed their words. Luckily, we have had some friends/family that were very pro~active and did do some research and offered some extra insight. When I would try to get onto cancer websites my anxieties would get a bit out of control. Although I wish I could be better about being more informed I have chosen to be the best wife I can be, and if I spend my time 'researching' this disease online, etc. I will not be able to be a functioning wife, mom, preschool teacher, etc. Whether that sounds crazy, or normal, it's real. It is my reality. One day Rich asked me why I would be willing to research a behavior I had with one of my preschoolers but not willing to research his disease. That made me feel bad, even though I am certain that wasn't his intent. It made me feel like maybe he didn't 'get it' or maybe that he felt less important. Rich has always been a top priority in my life, since I was the ripe old age of 14! Things for us haven't always been easy, but he has always been the love of my life and a top priority. I hope that he does actually understand the lack of 'research' I do regarding his cancer. I hope that he does see all that I do each day to try to make his days a little easier to endure.
A friend of mine told me that when her grandma was diagnosed with cancer they all spent a ton of her remaining time in this world researching and learning about cancer. Basically, they ate, slept, drank, etc. cancer everday, all day. Although I want to be well informed I am grateful that our days are not catered around this awful disease more than it should be. He is a husband, father, son, uncle, brother, police officer, and a cancer fighter! However: He is NOT a professional singer! ( as he lays up in bed right now, singing a tune that only a mother would love.)
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