Happy Easter

March was not my favorite month. Why it was so emotional for me, I am not sure. Maybe because a lot of the shock is wearing off? Maybe it is because the longer we go without him the more we miss him? Maybe it was because I took off my armor.. Either way, this man of mine is missed beyond words. I know that in this life we will all experience loss, as we are all here and we will all leave. It is part of the plan. I pray that this loss will make my children and  I stronger, inspiring, more giving and serving, but at the end of the day no matter what comes from this loss I would rather we be the simple us, with him! He was so funny, could be such a punk, moody, kind, hard working, goofy, inappropriate, insightful, spiritual, generous, and an amazing daddy to our children. As much as I miss all of him I think I miss him more for our kid's. I can't imagine being a child and losing my dad. This has forever changed their lives and it breaks my heart for them. I remember feeling so sad when my parents got divorced, and it took me a long time to 'get over it' and be ok again. It was hard on me and my dad was still there for me to call and see. It was just a divorce. I saw both parents all the time, and wasn't exposed to hate, or custody battles, or anything. I will never pretend to know what their pain is like, but I will forever try to lesson the pain and help them endure. Rich wanted to be here for them, and to watch them succeed, and to be here when they fall. He never wanted to be the reason for tears on  pillow, or an ache in their heart. They were his entire world. He was so very proud of them, I know he still is, and always will be.