Chemo again..

   Well, we went to see the pain doctor to make sure everything was OK with the pain pump and to figure out what the heck happened. Dr. Brogan said it was a 'fluke' type incident but he did believe it was caused from the pump. He had to lower the dosage. It is better that is lowered because he was starting to get very nauseous from it. Add that to pain, and fatigue and what do you get? One sick husband. He has been doing better with the pain, even the night he was unable to use his pain pump. Guess Heavenly Father knew he really need a break, and some sleep. He did sleep too! He slept most of the next day as well... luckily! He didn't feel good though. Best way to describe it is... the flu. Doc gave us the go ahead for the gorge (wahhoooo) but Rich just wasn't feeling up to it. He tried to fake it, but it was a no go on Monday. Averi had her friend spend the night (the one that was suppose to go with us to the gorge) and I told them we would leave Tuesday if he was feeling better, and if not I would treat them to something fun. Tuesday... same story. Rich was beat down, and getting a sinus thing. (nose a bit swollen, and pressure) But he kept trying. Around 2ish he was game. He knew it would be relaxing once we got there, it was just the drive that was going to be difficult. The girls were bouncing off the walls with excitement. (Kman was not going, he was planning a trip with friends during the same time) I got everyone all packed. Just needed to load it into the car and I hear, "Mom, come here fast!" So I do... and Averi all of a sudden has a migraine and isn't feeling well. I gave her Motrin, past tense do terra oil, ice, and turned off the lights. I told her we would wait it out

to see if she got better. She was soo sad and kept trying to 'fake' health. She gets that from her daddy. Well, needless to say we didn't get to go to Flaming Gorge. She ended up throwing up about 9 times. Poor thing. I slept with her all night, and she was fine, luckily. Today she just feels beat up and is very dehydrated.   Rich and I were talking last night, and as hard as this cancer is, and as bad as I can't stand watching it hurt him, it could be worse. What if we were watching Keaton or Averi go through this? My heart breaks for the parents that have this as their reality. I could barely stand watching her suffer through the flu, or a few weeks ago Keaton was super sick, for TWO weeks. That is a long time to hurt. . for anyone. Especially kids. I hate that cancer is the trial we are faced with but I am grateful to the moon and back that our children are healthy. I am grateful for such wonderful friends and family. We are very blessed!! Flaming Gorge isn't going anywhere, we will make it some other time. Also, a friend of mine offered us to stay in her families cabin in Bear Lake... we have never been but wanted to go this summer so bad. After looking in to the prices we decided we better not. I am so excited!! May I add that she is a fellow police wife that I have never met face to face, yet she has offered such a kind thing. Told you we are blessed! People are amazing. Such kind giving hearts.

   Rich will begin chemo on Monday. I am not certain at this point how he will tolerate it, or how often it will be. We should find out all the deets then. Neither of us are excited, I mean it is chemo for crying out loud. However, we need to shut down the growth in the liver and this treatment feels right to both of us. I am excited for it to kill some cancer!!

  I must add that my son just left to California with three friends. I hate him being 18, what the crap! I am not ready for his wings to fly.. He isn't ready.. :) I am sure of it!! I pray he has the time of his life but comes back home to me in one piece. I couldn't bare it any other way!!!