I have been wanting to post but haven't!

             

  On May 3rd we celebrated LIFE! On that day, one year ago Rich was diagnosed. Something I never really saw in our future. I remember always counting my blessings and being so grateful for the challenges we had. As I prayed at night I ALWAYS thanked Heavenly Father for protecting us and keeping us healthy. I said always that I could handle any challenge just keep us healthy. I guess Heavenly Father is showing us now that we are OK even if we aren't healthy because he will be with us, no matter what the challenge. Anyway~ Some friends and family met for a surprise dinner. It was a lot of fun. The support he felt was great, and he had a good time. He had a lot of cancer pain that night, but hasn't since then. We gave a couple things out as thank yous that night too! We are very blessed with kind people.  I bet my grandma sent them all to us.

Dang, he is sexy!

 

Me, giving Rich a gift. He is a hero with his profession. When others run out, he runs in. He makes me proud to be a LEOW. However; the way he has looked at this 'cancer crap' has made me look up to him even more, and realize the true hero he is. He is a fighter. He doesn't complain, and he will fight this disease with everything he has. I know this.

       Yesterday we had scan results.  It was not my favorite day.

      May 22nd, the day my son was suppose to graduate. He didn't get to graduate with his class, but He will graduate.  He won't have all his credits for another couple of months. I am not disappointed in him. But I am sad for him. I hate that he had to miss out on the experience of walking across that stage with his friends. I am very proud of my son and I know that in his time he will have his diploma. I also know that he will grow up to do amazing things.  I have all the faith that he will follow his heart and end up right where he is suppose to be. But still... May 22nd... a day that as a mom I worked hard to prepare him for. It is a day you think of for a long time, it was a day I began preparing him for back when I enrolled him in Sunshine Preschool. Although you would think I may be disappointed in the outcome, I am not. I am so beyond proud of the man he is becoming that it was very easy to look past the May 22nd date... he will graduate. He just didn't graduate yesterday. My sadness is for him missing out on the memories and experience.

      May 22nd, field trip day. Averi and Grandpa went on a field trip together since mom and dad would be at Huntsman. They had a blast together, I am certain she will never forget it! Thanks, dad!!

      May 22nd, scan results day. Rich, his mom, and I left for Huntsman around 8:30.  Already on edge, and a few not so nice comments from the hub and I was done. This was about 10 and we still hadn't received the results. We had been pretty lucky/blessed up to this point, as the scans we had following treatment were all stable or shrinking. I had a weird feeling about this one, but I think only because I know that they can't all be good, right? The doctor came in around 10:30 or so and told us that the clinical trial Rich was on was no longer an option because the lesions inside the liver had gotten bigger and that their were a few new ones in the liver as well. The growth was very small, so that was good, but the fact that the trial was not stopping or shrinking growth meant it was time for something else. Really, not the worse news ever. However; I will admit I was looking and praying for something better. My hope was that he would be able to be on this trial for a looong time! Guess this was not the right road for us, now we need to find the right road. He has a few choices, which is always good. He can choose from two different chemo treatments, another clinical trial, or go to Mexico and try the treatment they offer in their clinic. He will go back on Wednesday to let them know what he has decided. I am leaning towards chemo. Rich is leaning toward Mexico and the trial. Obviously, we will need to pray.  I wish our trials came 'pre~prayed' and we just knew what to do next, all the time. Sorry, that makes sense in my brain. Standing joke in our family is when we go to grandpa's house we don't need to bless the food, as he told Averi he buys all his food PRE~blessed. 

Well, once we got the news we just asked a ton of questions and then we left. No need to stay since he is no longer on the trial. We went to lunch and then headed home.

I really felt loved when Susan and Kyle went out of their way to check on me yesterday. Thank you. Sometimes just knowing that someone is thinking of you enough to call or text can get you through to the next day. I realized while planning Rich's celebrate life dinner that I have gotten pretty distant from my friends. Weird, isn't it. I mean, we have sooo much support. But when I was planning on a few thank you gifts I wanted to give the first few were NO BRAINER'S for our reasons. Then I asked Rich to name one friend that he would like to give a key chain to. Someone that has been there checking in, helping, or whatever. Just someone that has really been there every day.... he chose our neighbor Kyle. We had a key chain made that said, "Not all heroes wear capes'" Then when I was thinking of who I would make mine for I wanted to choose a friend that I leaned on all year long... crying....venting...what have you.  I have AMAZING friends, and I am sure if I called they would listen. But I could not name one person.  I didn't realize how much I had pulled away until that moment...  I then checked my phone bill. I use to go over 1500 minutes a month with all my phone calls... I kept it under 300. Perspective much? I love you friends. I guess I pulled away from some and  some pulled away from me. .

   Not a lot of emotion put into this blog, more just the 411. Sometimes that is all we need. That and ice cream

Burnt Almond Fudge. Bliss.

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Christel